Le Menu
(“The Menu”)
Classic Bagels
Everything
Outside it's chaos
But the inside is tender
Not unlike myself
Sesame
Tiny little bits
That impart nice toasty notes
WE SALUTE THEE, SEEDS!
Onion
If you eat one of
These without brushing your teeth
You’re antisocial
Garlic
Garlic-bagel breath
Is a tool of dominance
In corporate settings
Salt
"Why is your namesake
bagel the second to last?"
It knows what it did
Plain
There are some people
Who go out of their way to
Avoid excitement
New-Fangled Bagels
White Cheddar + Jalapeño
Jalapeños rule,
At least according to me.
My mom disagrees
Feta + Garlic
My good friend Themis
Never mentions feta cheese
But he is from Greece
Apple + Gorgonzola
You know what’s funky?
Bleu cheese, apple, and bagel,
And of course Prince, too
Heirloom Tomato + Parmesan
These are the heirlooms
Your ancestors fight over
If they have good taste
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
“Waaah, these are too hot!”
That is the plaintive wail of
All you big wusses
Cayucos Hot Sauce + Lumberjack Cheese
If you know, you know,
But if you don’t, let’s fix it.
Come meet two legends
Vegan Flatbreads
Garlic + Herb
Is it tasty? Yes.
Is it great as pizza base?
That’s also a yes
Bachan BBQ Potato + Chili Oil
Old friends may be gold
But spicy gold potatoes
Taste so much better
Heirloom Tomato + Basil
Sure, it sounds simple,
But simple is delicious
When done the right way
A Bunch of Others
New ideas spring up
Here and there and time to time.
We’ll keep you posted
Sweets
Blueberry Muffin
Sentient blueberries
Stuck in baked goods must face deep
Existential dread
Mini Banana Bread
Feeling gluttonous
But not super gluttonous?
Go with the mini
Large Banana Bread
Large banana bread
Is exactly equal to
Six of the minis
Chocolate Chip Cookie
“My grandmama makes
The best chocolate chip cookies.”
LOL, no she doesn’t
Chocolate Crinkle Cookie
Like the love child of
A cookie and a brownie
With way less drama